Do you believe that ‘Love is all you need’ to be happy and feel fulfilled?
Maybe you believe that ‘Love makes the world go round’?
The thing is that if these statements were true, there would be fewer problems in the world.
In my experience, you need something much deeper than love to make anything last long term.
What is Love Anyways?
We can love ice cream, love our new iPhone, love our husband or wife and our pet using all the same word.
Yet in each case the level and depth of love is different.
The love I’m talking about in this blog is the deep kind of love we have for other living beings, whether that is your wife or husband, boyfriend or girlfriend, your child, family members, friends or pet.
In a perfect world, love probably would make the world go round and it might even be all you need to be totally blissfully happy.
But it isn’t. Love isn’t enough.
To appreciate real love, we need something that goes much deeper.
What we are Yearning For
Like a beautiful flower, you can’t have or appreciate the flower if the flower doesn’t have a healthy thriving plant to grow on and rich soil to grow roots into. Before the flower, there is a whole entire string of important biological processes that come together to create that beautiful flower, that can take your breath away.
Same with love.
Love can solve all problems but not if there isn’t fertile ground for it to grow from!
That fertile ground is CONNECTION.
You, we, all of us need a connection… with ourselves.
If you don’t have a connection with yourself, all the love in the world will never truly reach or impact you.
Love is powerless even useless… wasted … if it doesn’t have the foundation of inner connection to help make it blossom.
There are instances where love can conquer all and turn a lost person around, but more often than not that love can be easily lost, misguided, become possessive or any number of other disempowering effects.
You can’t feel love – You can’t give love – You can’t be love – without first having a deep and real connection with yourself.
Connecting With Self
When you have a connection within, there is no stopping the potential of what you can be and do.
Connection with self-means you are deeply connected to who you are.
It might sound simple – to connect within – but many people don’t have a connection with themselves.
For many, we have somewhere along the way, disconnected from ourselves. Maybe it was your upbringing, parents who meant well but didn’t understand. Maybe it was abuse, or bullying or a fractured family life… or misunderstood identity by society… whatever it is, if you are disconnected from yourself you have for sure struggled to feel, find, be or accept real love.
What does Disconnection Feel Like?
Disconnection feels like being lost, unhappy, unworthy, insecure, victimized, abused, and anxious. It is the root of addiction.
Addicts are simply trying to connect to something… anything to make themselves feel better.
If you have been struggling to feel love, be loved, are looking for love, wanting love in any form… you are likely not connected within yourself.
The good news is that you can get connected to yourself quite easily. You were born connected within, but circumstances changed that and you can always get that connection back.
How to Get Connected
1) Make yourself a Priority
Making decisions based on you, not others. Your well-being has to come first.
2) You have to spend uninterrupted time with yourself
Switch off the TV, the computer, the phone for at least an hour a day and just sit with yourself. Some might call this meditation but it can also just be about being with yourself. Quietly, sitting with yourself.
3) Listen to How You Talk to Yourself
In those quiet moments, be mindful of how you talk to yourself. When you screw something up, don’t beat up on yourself. Try to recognize how you talk to yourself and change negative judgments to more empowering statements. For example, you may say to yourself, “I’m such an idiot for doing that”. Instead, say something like … “Well I didn’t know any better at the time, but from now on I will try to not do it that way again”.
4) Feel Your Emotions
Feel your emotions and don’t bury or deny them. Your emotions tell you honestly, exactly what is going on inside of you at that deep soulful connection level. Denying, burying, ignoring, and numbing your true emotions, makes it is impossible to connect within.
A good technique is called ‘labeling’ exactly what it is you are feeling. For example, let’s say you are feeling angry, you would say to yourself ‘Oh that is anger’, or ‘that is jealousy’. This ‘labeling’ really helps you to disengage from the emotion and park it in a place where your mind can’t make it more than it really is.
You want to feel those emotions without indulging in them… and then let your mind file those emotions away neatly so it can’t keep picking them up, again and again. that is called distraction and drama and will only block your connection within.
5) Connecting Within is Serious Stuff
Not being connected within is the biggest atrocity plaguing humans and our world today. If we were all connected – and I don’t mean through social media! – but deeply connected to ourselves, and know ourselves, there is no way we would treat others poorly, kill other living beings, or sabotage ourselves.
Getting yourself unplugged from the outside world for a while and plugged into YOU is empowering and serious business. It is well worth the effort and commitment it takes to accomplish this.
In fact, if we all got connected within first, before doing anything else like recycling or going off on that spiritual trip, or saving the whales, or whatever else you feel you just have to DO! we would be a lot more effective and powerful human beings.
Put and keep your energy and power where it counts most.
6) Be Honest with Yourself
It can be difficult to know when you are lying to yourself because you are you, and you don’t often – maybe never – distance yourself from yourself and your thoughts. Being honest with yourself means you are ready to start facing the reality you have created for yourself.
Are you ready to start living your life on a whole new, more meaningful, spiritual level?
Start questioning why you believe what you believe and question your own motives.
It takes courage to realize that the way you see the world is only one – rather limited – way to see things.
The Journey to Connection
Everyone is different and only you will know that magical moment when you feel connected within.
You will know when you have got it. When you look at yourself in the mirror and you accept what you see in your own eyes.
When you make that deep connection within, be prepared for your life to change in the most amazing ways. Nothing will be quite the same anymore because you are now living from a place of strength, integrity, and… YES from love.
This is what Love has been waiting for – for you to ignite your soul.
Love comes in … after you get that connection within.
Have you struggled to get, hold or create real love in your life?
Has love eluded you again and again?
If so, step into You, connect within and watch your world change, bit by bit, and embrace yourself FIRST before embracing anything else.
Please comment below if this resonates with you.
As always I would love to hear from you!