Are you seeing a pattern repeating itself in your life?
Is this a pattern you’d really rather NOT see again and again?
The characters, places and circumstances change, yet it’s the same old pattern that keeps showing up.
Have you ever had the uncomfortable feeling that you have ‘been here before’?
Do you know the change/s you need to make… but you keep talking yourself out of it?
Would you rather chew glass (or even bring harm to yourself) than make the change you know you need to make?
Well fellow traveller, if any of this strikes a chord, come and take a journey with me and get unstuck once and for all!
The Day I Woke-up in Portland
Sounds like a song doesn’t it?
Well, it might as well be a song because I’ll never forget it!
I was in Powell’s Bookstore a few years ago. Powell’s Books in Portland, Oregon. It is the biggest, kick-ass bookstore I have ever been in. It is also the world’s largest independent bookstore so that deserves a drum roll – yahhhh!
This store covers an entire block! and carries the best selection of second hand and new books of anywhere else in the world, in my opinion. I was there during a summer holiday from teaching, travelling solo up the west coast of the USA, travelling along the beautiful Pacific shoreline, from LA to Vancouver.
The year was 2010, and while I was browsing the numerous books on the shelves, one book really caught me attention.
On the cover was a picture of a bumble bee (I love bumble bees) that was stuck on one of those wooden honey dippers. The title simply read “Stuck!”
It stopped me in my tracks. I put down the pile of books I was carrying and just stared at the cover for awhile, thinking to myself, ‘Wow, that is EXACTLY how I feel!”
Even though on the outside I was free, I was on holiday, I was travelling, I lived overseas, I had an awesome job, I was having a spiritual break away from everything for a while, life was grand. I was travelling in a foreign country, life was pretty awesome! For all intensive purposes, most people would have said I was anything but stuck! I was ‘movin and groovin’.
But in reality… I was so stuck… and had been for years. The cover of that book confirmed that for me loud and clear!
Admitting You Are Stuck
Having to admit that I was stuck rattled me, to the point where I didn’t even buy the book out of silent rebellion. I was waking up to a very uncomfortable truth, that I should do something about, but I simply had no idea how. There was no more denial, or lying to myself. The reality of being stuck had lived in the background of my consciousness for years and I had a lot of resistance and energy built up in that resistance. Getting to the point of admitting I was stuck was only the beginning of the next critical step. Shit!
Realising you are stuck doesn’t feel good. It feels ‘heavy’ because you don’t yet know how to deal with the consequences of what you know you must do.
Ok, Now What?
It took me years to get as stuck as I was, so getting unstuck was not as simple as just changing my job, home, family or anything else for that matter.
The more I tried to do to get unstuck the more I got stuck! Believe me… doing is not the answer.
Now, if you can relate to this then you are in good company my friend. I hear you. I’ve been there for an embarrassingly long time.
You may feel as though you have become unstuck, only because you changed something in your outer world, but honestly, you are still stuck my friend. Your joy will be short lived because you really haven’t changed anything on any deep level.
I know this because here you are reading about getting unstuck – Ha! Being stuck goes much deeper than changing your home, your wife/husband, or your kids, or whatever it is you may use to divert your attention from what is really going on.
If there is just ONE thing for me to say about getting unstuck, it would be this,
Get out of your head and stop doing stuff as a way to distract yourself!
You Can’t ‘Think’ or ‘Do’ Yourself Out of This!
If you are truly stuck, you are essentially avoiding the real issues AND over thinking solutions to distract you from those REAL issues!
The get yourself in a better place, focus on being in alignment with yourself.
Appreciate what is in your life, right now.
Resist the urge to ‘DO’ things to get unstuck.
This is the time to ‘be’ rather than ‘do’.
Stop What You are Doing
Yep just stop doing!
Stop planning ahead.
Now I am not giving you permission to procrastinate. I mean stop doing stuff, and instead sit still with your stuckness. Accept the beast.
Breathe deep and engage in peaceful thoughts, flow and growth rather than what you have been feeling which is frustration, resistance and blockage.
Change your focus and think differently.
It is like when you are stuck in a pile of quicksand, the worse thing you can do is keep moving. The more you move the more you sink down into it.
So number 1, stop doing what you are doing, STOP! and instead, relax. Think of yourself being in quicksand and the best thing to do is not ‘move’ or ‘do’.
Think in Terms of Energy
You know that energy can never get stuck. It flows all of the time. There is really no such thing as the energy being stuck, there is only at best a dragging or slowing down, but energy never gets stuck. So really you are not actually stuck, you are – shall we say – just stewing in energy lol! That’s why, at times, you feel anxious and feel you have to do something.
In energetic terms, there are only two ways to get unstuck.
- Energy either moves so fast that it overcomes any resistance OR
- Whatever is resisting the flow of energy, becomes lighter.
The easiest and best way to move towards getting unstuck is to relax your resistance or relax the fight you have against it.
If you try instead, to increase the flow of energy (by doing more stuff and changing things just to get things moving) you could end up wasting a lot of energy and flapping about in all sorts of doing, that will get you nowhere. You could also make some really bad decisions in the process of that kind of energetic turmoil.
Better to take the easy free flow way and simply let up on the resistance or the block that is maintaining your own energy flow.
It is best to apply less effort and less thinking, rather than more effort and more thinking.
Take Time Out
If you need to take some quality time out do it. Take time off from work. Take an alone vacation or a retreat.
You have to really start focusing on the deeper stuff that you are so artfully avoiding. For example, at the root of your stuckness is not indecision. You have clearly already decided what to do, you know it. The feeling of being stuck comes from not knowing how to deal with the consequences of your what you know you want.
Focus on getting your energy moving and being appreciative of what is. Remember you want to let up on the resistance you have been in the habit of activating. This is the time to be with yourself, do the things you love, make space for what you desire, use your imagination, flow with your energy.
This is not the time to make any big decisions, or to do anything other than start feeling very good and ease into accepting what you have at your disposal – right now!
Once you start feeling better, a new reality will present itself to you. If you start to feel anxious again, disengage your mind and the need to ‘fix’ things. Let that go.
Deep down you have already made up your mind, you already know what to do to solve your issue, so celebrate that truth. Your struggle is simply in actually finding an honest authentic way to do what you know you must do.
If you are feeling that you have to do something drastic to change your situation, back up and slow down.
The goal is to not do anything really drastic but rather feel your way through this slowly. If you do something drastic you could put yourself right back in the quicksand again.
You are working towards an authentic change that benefits you and everyone around you. Take a deep breath and think about something you can do for yourself right now – today – that will make you feel better and let you move in the general direction of what you – ultimately – want. At all times be honest with yourself.
Celebrate When you Feel Better
Ok, believe it or not – you are getting yourself unstuck my friend! Energy is moving again. That is totally awesome! Even though you may still be in the pit of quicksand, you are relaxed, you are accepting, you are not sinking anymore and you are less likely make a bad rash decision.
You will feel the release instantly, like a clog in a drain being cleared or a beaver dam that explodes after a flood. Once energy starts flowing again, you will feel it move through every cell of your body.
Be open, stay general, don’t get too specific about how this is all going to work out. Slowly but surely you are moving towards what you really want. Small changes are massive at this stage.
When you are at peace with yourself and your journey, that peace will influence everything around you, including the other people in your life who might be affected by any decisions or decisions you are considering.
I will speak much more on this powerful practice in future blogs. Yes, prayer is VERY powerful, especially when you are finding your way in life. Heartfelt prayer from your soul will always make a heavy situation, lighter; the darkest day bright; and a troubled soul heal.
Never underestimate the power of prayer
Never underestimate the need to be truthful with yourself
The universe is always expanding and so are you. In the process of that expansion, there will be things you have to either let go of, change, redefine or challenge.
We are all constantly moving – gradually and eventually – in the right direction towards choices that make our soul sing. We are therefore never complete and thus never ever really stuck.
We are never complete because we are constantly striving for new desires.
All that is important right now is that you sit still with your truth, accept it and feel the gift in what that offers to you. When you honour your truth, the resistance subsides allowing you a fresh more authentic way of accepting what needs to be done. The truth WILL set your free.
(Photo credit Gabriela Gioia on unsplash)