What is Anger and How To Release It Properly? – Darice Cairns Anger
Darice Cairns
The Art of Finding Truth, One Man's Journey Through Love, Life, Grief and Joy

We have all been angry at one point in time or another and released our fury onto others, possibly hurting the very people we love.

Is it possible to have a ‘good’ anger release?

Have you experienced being unable to have a proper anger release because the person or people in your life won’t let you express it?

Ever buried your anger or gone into denial, which over time, can make you feel even angrier and even guilty for feeling anger?

Feeling anger is a good thing, so read on and find out how to do it properly.

Facts About Anger

FACT! People who postpone their anger release or deny it often become walking time bombs, unleashing their fury onto unsuspecting innocents.

FACT! Anger is perhaps one of the most misunderstood emotions in our culture and society.

FACT! Anger is very simply one of the many healthy emotions we move through as we live out our lives. It usually comes up when we feel powerless in some way, and expressing anger is a way of gaining back our power.

What is Anger

I speak briefly about where anger is on the Emotional Scale in other blogs.

The emotion of anger marks a pivotal point in a person’s healing and growth when they move out of powerlessness and then move towards healing as they express and release their anger.

Anger isn’t pretty, but it is essential to our well-being and mental health.

Expressing your anger is essential for your wellbeing and mental health. Expressing your anger feels AMAZING; it gives you personal power and allows you to turn any negative focus from yourself to something outside of yourself.

Expressing anger is healthy, and like any other emotion such as frustration, sadness, joy, happiness, when we feel it, we need to show it. Pent up anger is what is dangerous.

Anger that is turned inwards towards ourselves is the most destructive to our well-being and who we are.

Black and white photo of a young tattood man screaming and angry.
Let it out!

Anger Has Gotten a Bad Rap

The problem with anger is that our society does not like dealing with it!

As children, most of us were taught or forced to control our anger. We might even be punished for expressing it.

I’ve seen parents shame their children for expressing a healthy anger release, creating untold damage to the poor child who must now go against their natural flow and hide/control/swallow an otherwise healthy part of human behaviour.

Furthermore, we need to know how to express our anger appropriately. A proper, safe anger release is essential to our growth and confidence. An appropriate release of rage is a healing process that needs guidance.

What is a Good Anger Release

  • No matter what, you have to let it out. Release anger as you feel it, don’t bury it or hide it or postpone the release at a later date. Just make sure you are alone and away from people who won’t understand your venting.
  • You must feel your anger when you release it. Anything goes, do whatever you have to, punch a pillow, cry buckets, scream and yell, whatever turns you on, do it, just get it all out.
  • Keep your anger release private, so don’t do it in front of other people, including the ones who got your rage in the first place! Other people will have a tough time accepting your anger, and they may try to shut you down.
  • If you do your anger release with another person, it takes careful skill and consideration and read.  How to Have a Constructive Anger Release With Another Person
  • Direct your anger outward. Direct your anger towards anyone else (in a real way but privately) and towards yourself! A proper anger release will allow you to feel amazing, with no guilt.

Ways to Release Your Anger

If you catch yourself expressing your anger at someone,  you should stop attacking them and take your anger release somewhere else. You can go for a walk, get out of the room, change the location, leave the party, just move somewhere else and then have your release.

Remember, your anger is about you, not about anyone else. The people who have made you rage have simply triggered something in you, something you need to let go of.

A woman stands alone on the edge of a beach at dusk.
It’s all about you.

There are loads of other ways you can have a proper anger release without attacking the people around you. These include:

  • Go for a walk outside.
  • Write an angry letter, or write many, just be sure to burn them or shred them when you get it all out.
  • Fantasize about what you really would like to do to the person who has you so riled up. Throwing people out windows or into a river of hungry crocodiles is appropriate.
  • Talk to someone about your anger, someone who has absolutely nothing to do with the rage and who you trust completely and who supports and is knowledgeable on proper anger releases.
  • Let the anger out as you feel it, don’t let it build up inside of you.
  • Don’t overthink your anger or why you are angry or who upset you. It is an emotional release, not a time to be thinking and analyzing it.
A black sign about self love on the floor with red roses around it.
Love your healing process and accept who you are, anger and all.

Final words on this, from me to you beautiful soul

Love your healing process and the person you are!  You are on a journey to being better, and because of that journey, you are going to get triggered, you are going to get angry as your shit comes up and smacks you hard in the face.  The more you push it away, the more it will hit hard.

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