We have all been angry at one point in time or another and released our fury onto others, possibly hurting the very people we love.
Does that ever make the situation better?
Have you experienced being unable to have a good anger release because the person or people in your life won’t let you express it?
Have you ever buried your anger, or gone into denial, which over time can make you feel even angrier and even guilty for feeling anger?
Have you ever wondered why there is so much negativity around the emotion of anger?
Facts About Anger
FACT! People who postpone their anger release or deny it often become walking time bombs, unleashing their fury onto unsuspecting innocents.
FACT! Anger is perhaps one of the most misunderstood emotions in our culture and society.
FACT! Anger is actually very simply one of many healthy emotions we move through as we live out our lives. It usually comes up when we feel powerless in some way and expressing anger is a way of gaining back our power.
What is Anger
The emotion of anger marks a pivotal point in a person’s healing and growth when they move out of powerlessness and then move towards healing as they express and release their anger.
Anger isn’t pretty but it is really important to our well-being and mental health.
Expressing your anger is a necessary part of releasing, letting go, healing and moving onwards and upwards vibrationally. Expressing your anger feels great, it gives you power and allows you to turn any negative focus from yourself to something outside of yourself.
Expressing anger is healthy and like any other emotion such as frustration, sadness, joy, happiness, when we feel it we need to express it. Pent up anger is what is dangerous.
Anger that we keep bottled up inside, hide or pretend is not there is very dangerous. The worse kind of anger is the anger we turn in towards ourselves.
Anger that is turned inwards, towards ourselves is the most destructive to our well-being and who we really are.
Anger Has Gotten a Bad Rap
The problem with anger is that our society does not like dealing with it!
As children, most of us were taught or forced to control our anger. We might have even been punished for expressing it.
I’ve seen parents shame their children for expressing a healthy anger release, creating untold damage to the poor child who must now go against their own natural flow and hide/control/swallow an otherwise normal part of human behaviour.
Furthermore, we need to be well educated on how to appropriately express our anger. A good, safe anger release is essential to our growth and confidence. A good anger release is a healing process that needs guidance to ensure it is done properly.
What is a Good Anger Release
Certain rules are needed for allowing a good anger release.
- No matter what; you have to let it out. Release anger as you feel it, don’t bury it or hide it or postpone the release at a later date. Just make sure your release is done alone and away from people who won’t understand your release (which will be most people, especially the people who ignited your anger in the first place!) More on this in point 3.
- You must really feel your anger when you release it. Anything goes, do whatever you have to, punch a pillow, cry buckets, scream and yell, whatever turns you on, do it, just get it all out. You can also say anything you want, like how much you hate your husband or wife or boyfriend or whoever, even people who are dead… it is ok cause remember you are doing this alone.
Saying this in an anger release doesn’t mean you are being disloyal, it means you are being totally loyal to your self. It is hugely necessary for you to shift how you feel, so go ahead and give yourself full license to vent, punch and, scream.
- Keep your anger release private, so don’t do it in front of other people, including the ones who got you anger in the first place! Other people will have a very difficult time accepting your anger and they may try to shut you down.
Do it alone! (you can do this with another person but it takes skill and preparation and a special relationship so for now – do it alone!) then when you get a grip on that, read my blog on How to Have a Constructive Anger Release With Another Person
- Direct your anger outward. Direct your anger towards anyone else (in a real way but private) but NOT yourself! A proper anger release will allow you to feel amazing, with no guilt.
If during your release you start to shut yourself down, be very aware of what you are saying to yourself. You must not turn your anger on yourself, remember you have to shift this anger and the only way you can do that is to get it out.
Ways to Release Your Anger
If you catch yourself expressing your angry at someone, you should stop attacking them and take your anger release somewhere else. You can go for a walk, get out of the room, change the location, leave the party, just move somewhere else and then have your release.
Remember your anger is about you, not about anyone else. The people who have made you anger have simply triggered something in you, something you need to let go of and deal with.
If anything, you should thank those people who make you angry, for they have been of service in getting you to release your triggers.
There are loads of other ways you can have a good anger release without attacking the people around you. These include:
- Go for a walk outside
- Write an angry letter, or write many, just be sure to burn them or shred them when you are done
- Fantasize about what you really would like to do to the person who has you so riled up. Throwing people out windows or into a river of hungry crocodiles is totally appropriate.
- Talk to someone about your anger, someone who has absolutely nothing to do with the anger and who you trust completely and who supports and is knowledgeable on proper anger releases
- Let anger out as you feel it, don’t let it build up inside of you
- Don’t over think your anger or why you are angry or who upset you. This is an emotional release, not a time to be thinking and analysing it.
After a Healthy Release
A proper, safe and good anger release will make you feel alot better. In fact, you will feel so much lighter, and more open because you will have shifted something that wasn’t serving you in a positive way.
It is much better and healthier to take action if needed after you have had a private anger release and are stable in your new higher energy.
A proper release really will bring you to a new level of awareness and a new level of vibration. Enjoy it and relish it. It feels good because THIS is the real you.
After your anger release, that is the time to make any decisions if appropriate or talk to people if needed or decide what to do next… if anything.
After you shift your anger, you will likely feel totally different about whatever it was that upset you. Your perspective will have changed and that is a wonderfully empowering feeling.
Final words on this, from me to you beautiful soul
Love your healing process and the person you are! You are on a journey to being better and because of that journey you are going to get triggered, you are going to get really angry as your shit comes up and smacks you hard in the face. The more you push it away the more it will hit hard.
This is the journey to finding your true self… this is the REAL journey to a better more authentic you.
Please share below if any of this rings true for you.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, challenges and triumphs.