What is an Emotional Scale, and what can it tell us about healing?
Is the understanding of emotions a grey area of confusion for you?
Have you ever been stunned at how your emotions take over, leaving?
Would you like to know how to control your emotions and use them constructively to heal yourself?
If any of these ring a chord with you, then read on…
Feeling Emotion Is A-OK
In the past, emotions were swept under the carpet, but thankfully we now know that we have to feel our emotions to work through them and our mental health.
So, regardless of where you are on the emotional acceptance scale, I want to dive into this topic because it is vital to our well-being and mental health.
Understanding your emotions lays down the foundation for understanding your healing journey.
Introducing the Scale
ALL emotions are essential and necessary to feel if you want to heal and move forward. Knowing what emotions you are feeling in the moment, then finding that emotion on the scale can empower you. It also takes the mystery and ‘chaos’ out of an often misunderstood element of our behaviour.
The scale breaks emotions down nicely into the different levels of responsibility, feelings, and associated thoughts. It is often used during coaching sessions to help people see where they are on the scale and where they want and need to be.
This scale is not static; you will move up and down it depending on what is triggering you.
The goal in using this Emotional Scale is to become more consciously aware of your emotions and to slowly, over time, try to work your way up the scale more than down it.
The Emotional Scale
|Level of Control||Responsibility||Emotions||Thoughts||Appearance|
|Full Control||MY doing is making things so good.||
||I can do it! I can’t wait to get out there and do it!
Loving myself and my life!
|It’s FATE’S doing that things are good||
||Things can get better. Good things do happen in the world. If other
people can do it, maybe so can I.
|It’s FATE’S fault things are bad.||
||Bad things happen. That’s just the way it is. The world is a bad
place. You might as well accept it.
|Things are bad because it’s their fault.||
||It’s all their fault. If other people weren’t so selfish, I could have
more. Why does nobody care about me?
|All MY fault that things are bad||
||All my fault. Nobody loves me because I am unlovable. There’s
nothing I can do, and I hate myself.
This is About Getting in Alignment
When you observe something/anything and focus on it, you suddenly become more aware and more conscious of it. Emotions are no different. Like a feedback loop, your emotions tell you just how aligned you are with the real you. Therefore, the worse you feel, the more out of alignment you are with YOU.
If you feel angry, frustrated, grief, jealousy, constant depression, or feel overwhelmed much of the time, understanding the Emotional Scale will help you feel better and better work through your emotions.
Overview of the Emotional Scale
We can map our emotions on this emotional scale, which goes from total despair to the highest point, absolute joy. At the top of the range, you will be feeling authentic and genuine happiness, joy, empowerment, freedom, passion, enthusiasm, and eagerness.
The Upper End of the Scale
At the upper end of the scale, you are excited to start each day. You think positive and empowered thoughts such as, “I can do it,” I love myself and my life.” “I’m so grateful for the people in my life.”
Know that for some people, this might seem like an impossible stage of emotional bliss to attain, but trust me, it is possible, just not overnight. Slowly, you can get yourself moving up the scale.
The Lower End of the Scale
At the other opposite end of the scale, you see emotions associated with feeling powerless. Things seem to always happen to you, and you feel like a victim. You feel vulnerable, afraid, depressed and unworthy. Feeling powerless is the place of self-loathing and fear. It doesn’t get any worse than this.
Starting at the Bottom
At the bottom of the scale, you tend to turn on yourself, turning negative thoughts towards yourself, which only makes you feel worse.
There is no worse feeling than denying yourself, hating yourself and denying your truth. We must never beat up on ourselves; it is the most destructive and horrific thing you can do to yourself!
If you are harsh with yourself, try your hardest to turn it around by seeing yourself as a young child and hug that child as much as you can. Protect them and love them and connect with them. That is you; you are that loving child, and you need understanding and love as much as anyone else, so give that to yourself.
Vow to NEVER beat up on yourself, just like you would never beat up on anyone’s child, so why would you do that to yourself?
When you are at the bottom of the scale—it is time to start telling yourself some real truths, truths that you can believe right here and now. For example, blaming others for your life is more empowering than feeling shame, so allow yourself to blame; just don’t get stuck there too long.
Keep working on slowly but steadily, getting further up the scale.
Do not act on these suggestions. Otherwise, you could slide back down the scale again, but you certainly have a right to feel your anger fully. Permit yourself to hate the world, blame your family, your friends.
Expressing anger won’t make you feel good, but you will feel better. Stay here until you start to feel better. You want that anger out. Punch a boxing bag or a pillow, cry, get hysterical if you have to, go for a walk, get it all out.
Moving from the bottom of the scale to anger is a HUGE step because it stops you from beating up on yourself.
So well done, you got yourself out of that lowest level emotion into something better (anger). Way to go!!
Once you are stable with your anger, you can then look at the next higher up levels of emotion: frustration, doubt, worry or pessimism. Your language will be softer now. Instead of saying I always, or they still, you say instead, I sometimes or they sometimes, and ‘everyone’ becomes ‘some people,’ ‘all’ becomes ‘a few.’ Things start feeling less horrible and more hopeful, bit by bit.
Whatever you are feeling, do not deny those feelings; accept them, acknowledge them, even thank them for showing you the way to healing yourself and for helping you to move into your power.
If anything keeps coming back up from your previous work, there is no shame in going back and releasing more negative feelings. Sometimes, our emotions are on top of each other, and it will take several focused release sessions to get all the layers fully. Keep reminding yourself that you will get through this, that those uncomfortable emotions are guiding you to better feelings and finding your true self.
Feeling More Positive
At this stage, you may find recurring issues that keep morphing under the same theme. Family issues often have many layers of healing, and they go deep, so do not be surprised if now the same problem keeps coming up just in a different form.
Just give it attention like all the other emotions, work through it. Now start asking the universe for guidance, then let it go and always reach for better feeling thoughts around the issue.
Consciously healing and moving up the scale.
You can start this journey at any place on the scale, and it is there only to help you get more aware and conscious about your healing. All healing begins with you. Take it slow as you feel your way through all the emotions that will be coming up. Remember, you have probably been burying your emotions most of your life, so it will take some time to work through them.