So here is my take on… Mistakes…
Mistakes in life… well I have made a few.
But who hasn’t?
If you want to know how you are doing in life, you simply have to look at your life, the people in it, how they treat you, all your relationships from your career, to personal interaction, and family dynamics. Really
The three big mistakes we make in life all have the same thing in common. They all involve not taking ownership
It is hard for some us to really truly take full ownership over ourselves. We marry, depend on our spouse, rely on friends, lean on family, lie to ourselves, play shenanigans to avoid truths and/or changes.
We are the masters of disguise – in our own lives!!!
So, let’s unveil those parts of yourself that are hard to see. Let’s step out of ourselves for a moment and look at ourselves objectively.
Making Mistakes is all Part of the Process!
Making mistakes is all part of learning to live in the best possible way – for you.
It all starts and ends with you.
So mistakes are very personal. When we make a mistake we have no one to blame but ourselves. We have to know that we are designed to make mistakes, we learn through mistakes and so when we make them we must remember to recognise the mistake, make the necessary change (easier said than done), then let it go and move on.
If you are good at seeing mistakes in others, then turn your attention to yourself for a moment and behold a site to see!
Let’s look at the flawed belief, that a mistake means you have done something wrong and needs to be avoided at all costs.
Really? Mistakes are actually not negative things to be avoided. They are actually challenges that teach us incredible lessons about ourselves.
If we think of mistakes as things to be avoided we set ourselves up to be overly critical of ourselves. It puts i motion a momentum of self condemnation.
Everything you do or say comes back to YOU, and so we are often the hardest on ourselves, when you screw up.
We are our own worst critic. We can be shamelessly, brutal on our selves. We can be so harsh that we rip ourselves apart criticising our actions, regretting, feeling guilty, talk harshly to our selves and because it is all internal dialogue it sometimes never stops and so it cuts very deep. There is no stopping it unless we become consciously aware of what we say to ourselves.
More often than not, when I am feeling really down, like REALLY down and sad, it is because I have not been speaking very nicely to myself. Yep! 9 times out of 10 that is the reason. I create my own hell.
That is big mistake number 1!
Living by other people’s rules and trying to please others.
That was my first big mistake in life.
Your family, of course, is important, whether it is your kids or your parents, brother, sister, whatever… but it is YOU who has to manage stuff when the shit hits the fan. It is YOU who has to wake up and make changes in your life when things go sideways, upside down or go totally off the scale.
When you become an adult, you need to be in control of your life. You will never be happy if someone else is calling the shots in YOUR life.
If YOU are not in control of YOUR life, BIG mistake!
Admitting your mistakes is awesome, but as mentioned above, do not beat yourself up over it. However, the flip side of admittance is to deny that you made a mistake at all!
The first class route to not taking ownership over our mistakes is to not accept our mistakes and so we blame others.
This causes more problems in our life, impairs our self-development, sabotages our empowerment, and wrecks havoc on our relationships with others.
Take responsibility for yourself, your mistakes (or challenges) and know that if you blame others for ANYTHING, you are basically denying yourself the gold in the lesson.
Mistakes are Part of Life
Yep! We were born to make mistakes, so we need to get comfortable with that. You are not perfect, neither is anyone else in this world. Great beauty and genius
The big mistake is viewing a mistake as a negative, as something that should never happen.
Wrap it up, Mistakes and All
So the biggest mistakes we make in life are 1) believing that mistakes are negative and they are to be avoided. This leads into being too harsh on ourselves when we do make a mistake, 2) living by other peoples rules and trying to please others, and 3) blaming others for our mistakes.
Don’t be afraid to make a mistake! For God’s sake live a little, live on the edge, go on that trip, push that boundary, take that calculated risk, make that change you’ve been thinking about for years…. If you screw up, well you will have learnt something about yourself. Lick your wounds and move on. You will be better off for it – believe me!
Mistakes I Have Made in Life
Ok, so here is my list of mistakes or shall I say accomplishments, because I have truly reconciled with them all. This is not a full list, I must hold somethings back lol! But these are some major mistakes I have made in the last few years.
- After being burnt out from a demanding overseas job for 12 years, I moved back to Canada to the WORST place on earth to live for finding work in my profession. I moved to Vancouver Island in Canada. It was beautiful, it was peaceful but it was not the place for someone with my skills to find work. If I was a nurse it would have been perfect. But I’m not a nurse! In all honesty, I knew this deep down, but I moved there anyway because I needed a ‘break’. My ‘challenge’ was that after I had a break for a year or so I wanted to work at something interesting, get back into teaching in some way, but there was no way to do that where I was living. After 5 years, I left. After 6 years I’m selling my house and plan to move to another province. Oh, and I also moved back overseas to work.
The flip side to that mistake is this. Behind every perceived mistake is a gem! I met someone I fell in love with back there on Vancouver island AND the natural beauty of Vancouver Island along with the alternative lifestyle ignited my creative talent for writing. I wrote a book, created this website and blog – and plan to make writing my vocation in the coming years. I discovered my greatest passions there.
(In this ‘challenge’ I blamed others and didn’t take responsibility for why I was so burning myself out)
2. After going back to school as an adult and becoming a teacher at the age of 32, I was unable to find a teaching job in Canada. (I felt I had made a big mistake!). But the flip side of that was I found work overseas and it was the best thing for me. I got a great job in a Canadian International school in Singapore making more money than I would have made in Canada and I had many other bonuses like free rent. Moving overseas also allowed me to break away from some heavy family and personal dramas affecting me at the time. In short, what I thought was a mistake turned into something bigger and better than I could have ever imagined.
(in this ‘challenge’ I thought something was a mistake… when in reality it was far from it and opened so many new exciting doors for me overseas)
3. When I was back on Vancouver Island and not able to find any decent work, I retrained for 9 months as a Medical laboratory assistant, incurring a school loan in the process, only to find out I hated it! Poking people with needles to get blood out of them just wasn’t for me. In all the school I have done over my life, this was a big mistake but it showed how much I really wanted to stay living on Vancouver Island. There were lots of jobs in this profession, the problem was I hated it. The flip side… I know how to operate a syringe (watch out lol!), I know how important it is to get regular blood tests, and I learnt how much I like to be my own boss and work without rules.
(In this ‘challenge’ I was trying to please others and not being the master of my own life).
Oh there are more… lots more… but that is for another day… year… blog.
So tell me please if you can relate to any of this! I think we have to accept that mistakes are inevitable in life. We are far from perfect. There is NO perfect anyways.
I’d love to hear your views on this topic and please… share below. Thank you for visiting and sharing!