You have a BIG decision to make right now? The problem is that when you feel stuck, it is difficult to make any kind of choice, let alone an important one!
Are you feeling stuck and unable to decide on a solution that makes you feel empowered?
Afraid that your decision will affect other people you love, and that is stopping you from moving forward?
Paralyzed by deciding because you just don’t know what to do?
If any of these statements relate to you at the moment, then this blog is for you!
Read on and find out how to make a GOOD decision when you are feeling totally and utterly STUCK!
ALL Decisions in Life are Important
Mel Robbins says you are only ONE decision away from changing your life.
That is so powerful!
The decision to get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning can start a whole chain of positive events that set you up for a great day, week, month, year, life.
Deciding to have one last drink at the bar can be the difference between life and death.
The decision to walk up one flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator can not only help you tone up quickly but also help you lose a bit of weight.
We are continually making decisions, small ones and big ones. There is never a moment when you are NOT deciding when you are sleeping or meditating. While you are awake, your entire existence revolves around making hundreds if not thousands of decisions every single day.
One little decision can change so much in your life.
EVERY decision is Important
I want to talk about the BIG decisions you have to make. These are the decisions that have the potential to change the course of your life in massive ways.
For example, should you marry the man you have been living with for the last few years? Will you move in with your lover? Can you buy that house? Should you visit your elderly parents even though they do nothing but a complaint about you? So the increased job opportunities justify the cost of going back to school? Desperate to leave your job but can’t afford to?
These are significant decisions that will change your life in big ways and also affect the people nearest you. Some decisions are so massive and far-reaching we can get stuck or even paralyzed, fearing that we will make the wrong decision, so we end up not deciding at all.
We can feel terrified of making a mistake, or hurting our family or hurting someone else, so we get stuck, or go into denial or pretend everything is ok.
I believe that we all know when we have to make those BIG decisions. When the time is ripe to make it, and every cell in your body is telling you to make a decision. You have to listen to your deeper inner self and take it seriously. It is NOT the time to pretend everything is Ok and hide, go into denial or ignore your feelings.
Believe me, if you ignore your true feelings at this stage, they will come back again, and it will be even more urgent, even uglier because you have delayed the inevitable.
How do you Make a Good Decision?
If you are reading this blog, you are likely not feeling very confident about the decision you are trying to make. It will feel uncomfortable because change is uncomfortable, and pretty well every BIG decision comes will BIG changes.
Change is scary, but only because it is unfamiliar. Nothing is gained by staying comfortable with things, keeping the status quo, and joy and happiness are squashed when we deny ourselves our most profound truths.
Think of it this way. Our most powerful asset in life is our ability to choose. That is it!
It is not how much money we have; it is not our job; it is not our family, itis not even our health.
What you choose in life says a lot about who you are, your morals, your integrity, your values and whether you know yourself or not. This opportunity that is in front of you right now is an incredible opportunity for you so, do not be getting down on yourself and beating yourself up.
When You Feel Stuck Over a BIG Decision
Ok, so let’s get back to that BIG decision you need to make. If you just can’t decide what to do, this will hopefully help you.
I made a list of 5 all essential steps to take in the order of importance.
1) Take Thoughtful Time
Making a big decision should take time. You should allow yourself time to consider everything carefully. Do not make a BIG decision on the fly and impulsively. It does not mean you can procrastinate, no you are contemplating your options, and that will need your attention and time.
Take time. Take a deep breath. Allow yourself space and some time to get a little more comfortable with just even thinking about this decision.
2) Be Honest with Yourself
Sometimes we ask ourselves the wrong question, and that is why we get stuck.
For example, if you are trying to decide if you should marry someone and you are stuck here, step back a bit and ask yourself a different question that might be more to the point. Try asking yourself, Do I love the person I am with?” If not, there is your answer.
So ask yourself different questions if you are stuck continuously over the same issues.
In the example above, if you do love this person, then dig deeper, and ask what is holding you back? Get clear on what you are asking, seeking or trying to solve.
Take all emotion out of it. You are talking to yourself. No one else will know, at this stage, what you are considering, so go all out and open up to yourself truthfully.
This is not the time to hold back.
3) Do Your Research
When you feel stuck, educate yourself on the topic of concern. Educate yourself about what you need to know so that you can make the most informed decision.
If you are trying to decide on a big purchase, then ask yourself,” “Can I afford this. Will this decision put me in debt? For how long? Am I comfortable with that?”
Do not force yourself to accept something that you feel uncomfortable about. That is a sign that you need to stop and not push yourself or lie to yourself to make it more acceptable.
4) Get Advice
Stay open to getting advice from a trusted, wise person.
Be very careful if you choose someone in your family for advice and be sure they can be impartial to you.
Family members often will have their judgment influenced by worry, love and concern for you and so their advice can be skewed. Only go to a family member if you are 110% certain that their judgment in the past has always been honest and impartial. Otherwise, it is best to NOT go to family and go to either a more distant family member or a trusted friend.
When you feel stuck, it is best to choose someone who is not emotionally involved with you.
Get advice from someone you respect and trust and who does not have an influence over you. Go to someone you respect and feel comfortable to be yourself.
5) Pretend to Decide One Way, Then the Other
Here you are playing devil’s advocate with yourself. So decide on the way to go in your decisions, pretend that you grew going to do exactly one of your options and sit on it for at least a day. See how that decision feels at the core of who you are. If there is ANY discomfort, then you have just eliminated one of your options.
Try the same process with each of your options and explore how you feel about your decisions.
When you feel stuck, this powerful little role play can be very enlightening. I have used it several times in the past and found it to always help me significantly with getting unstuck. Making the right decision will feel good at your core.
6) Pray and/or meditate on it
Last but not least, when you feel stuck, pray and or meditate on your decision.
I mean this in all seriousness. Never under-estimate the power of prayer and meditation.
For your prayer to be powerful, you need to have gone through all the steps above and be clear on what it is you are praying about.
A good pray might go something like this;
Dear Lord, God, Source energy (whatever you are most comfortable calling the greatness around you)
Stay near me,
Hover over me Lord
Guide me during this difficult time
I am blessed with knowing that there is something I need to change in my life
Please help me to find a solution to this dilemma that is troubling me
Help me Lord to feel at peace and calm as I stay open to solutions
Bring to me angels who can help me to think clearly and calmly
Please give me guidance towards the best possible solution
For myself and the ones I love
And support me in being honest and faithful to myself
I hope that these steps will help bring your clarity on how to get unstuck from your BIG decisions in life. Whatever you do not rush into a choice, and if someone is pressuring you, to make a quick decision, see that as a huge red flag to take your time and don’t be bullied into getting unstuck.
If you Remain Stuck After all this
If you go through all these steps and you still feel stuck, you need to admit that you have likely already decided what you have to do. Yep! You already know what you have to do and so you need to focus not on making a decision (which is a great diversion) but figure out the best way to do what you know you have to do.
Staying stuck means you need to be honest with yourself. Be sure you are asking yourself the right questions and not trying to hide from a hard truth about your situation and yourself.
Ask yourself different questions to get to the bottom of something you could be avoiding.
Finally, once you make your decision, do it wholeheartedly and never look back!
If you have been truly honest with yourself, then make your decision and act on it. It might feel uncomfortable but,
the best decisions allow everyone involved to benefit!
Make your decision and act upon it, move forward and never look back.
If you make a decision that ends up not empowering you at all and it is clear it is causing great suffering to those around you, then do not be afraid to reevaluate, reassess and even reconsider.
There are occasions when we may make a not so right decision, BUT you must be very sure you are reconsidering for purely authentic reasons and be sure you are not acting out of weakness or insecurity.
If you have done your homework, you should not be in the position of having to reconsider. Still, hey, it happens, and sometimes we do simply get misguided, especially if we tend to think ourselves to death!).
If you have a BIG decision to make in your life and you are struggling with it or getting stuck, please ask me a question in the comment section below I ‘dd love to hear from you!
Sharing your struggle with decision making might even help someone else who is also struggling. When you share your effort, it is very healing to have others offer support and even guidance that could help you to look at things differently and propel you forward.