Do you have a BIG decision to make right now?
Are you feeling totally stuck and not able to make a decision yet know in your gut you have to make this decision?
Are you afraid that your decision will affect other people you love and that is stopping you from moving forward?
Are you paralyzed by making a decision because you just don’t know what to do?
If any of these statements relate to you at the moment, then this blog is for you!
Read on and find out how to make a GOOD decision when you are feeling totally and utterly STUCK!
ALL Decisions in Life are Important
Mel Robbins says you are only ONE decision away from changing your life.
That is so powerful!
The decision to get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning can start a whole chain of positive events that set you up for a great day, week, month, year, life…
Deciding to have one last drink at the bar can be the difference between life and death.
The decision to walk up one flight of stairs instead of taking the elevator can not only help you tone up easily but also help you lose a bit of weight.
We are constantly making decisions, small ones and big ones. There is never a moment when you are NOT making a decision except when you are sleeping or meditating. While you are awake your entire existence revolves around making hundreds if not thousands of decisions every single day.
One little decision can change so much in your life.
EVERY decision is Important
I want to talk about the really BIG decisions you have to make. The ones that can change the course of your life in massive ways.
So BIG decisions like the ones that affect those close to you.
For example, should you marry the man you have been living with for the last few years? Should you move in with your lover? Should you buy that house? Should you visit your elderly parents even though they do nothing but complain about you? Should you go back to school? Should You leave your job?
These are big decisions that will change your life in big ways and also affect the people nearest you. Some decisions are so massive and far-reaching… we can get stuck or even paralyzed fearing that we will make the wrong decision, so we end up not making a decision at all.
We can feel terrified of making a mistake, or hurting our family or hurting someone else so we get stuck, or go into denial or pretend everything is ok.
I believe that we all know when we have to make those BIG decisions. When the time is ripe to make it, and every cell in your body is telling you to make a decision, you have to listen to your deeper inner self and take it seriously. This is NOT the time to pretend everything is Ok and hide, go into denial or ignore your feelings.
Believe me, if you ignore your true feelings at this stage, they will come back again, and it will be even more urgent, even uglier because you have delayed the inevitable.
How do you Make a Good Decision?
If you are reading this blog, you are likely not feeling very great about the decision you are trying to make. It will feel uncomfortable because change is uncomfortable and pretty well every BIG decision comes will BIG changes.
Change is scary, but only because it is unfamiliar. Nothing was ever gained by staying comfortable with things, keeping the status quo and certainly, joy and happiness are squashed when we deny ourselves our deepest truths.
Think of it this way. Our most powerful asset in life is our ability to choose. That is it!
It isn’t how much money we have, it isn’t our job, it isn’t our family, it isn’t even our health.
What you choose in life says a lot about who you are, your morals, your integrity, your values and whether you know yourself or not. This opportunity that is in front of you right now is an incredible opportunity for you so don’t be getting down on yourself and beating yourself up.
When we Feel Uncertain Over a BIG Decision
Ok, so let’s get back to that BIG decision you need to make. If you just can’t decide what to do this will hopefully help you.
I made a list of 5 all important steps to take in order of importance.
1) Take Time
Making a big decision should take time. You should allow yourself lots of time to consider everything carefully. Do not make a BIG decision on the fly and impulsively.
Take time. Take a deep breath. Allow yourself space and some time to get a little more comfortable with just even thinking about this decision.
Accept it’s presence. It is there looming over you, so befriend it, it wants to speak, so let it have the opportunity to speak to you.
2) Be Honest with Yourself
Sometimes we ask ourselves the wrong question and that is why we get stuck.
For example, if you are trying to decide if you should marry someone and you are stuck here, step back a bit and ask yourself another question that might be more to the point. Try asking yourself, “Do I love the person I am with?” If not, there is your answer.
If you do love this person, then dig deeper, and ask what is holding you back? Get really clear on what you are asking, seeking or trying to solve.
Take all emotion out of it. You are talking to yourself. No one else will know, at this stage, what you are considering so go all out and open up to yourself truthfully.
This is not the time to hold back.
3) Do Your Research
Educate yourself on the topic of concern. Educate yourself about what you need to know about the decision.
If you are trying to decide on a big purchase, ask “Can I afford this”. Will this decision put me in debt? … for how long? Am I comfortable with that?
Know your boundaries.
4) Get Advice
Definitely get advice from a trusted, wise person.
Be very careful if you choose someone in your family for advice. Be sure they can be impartial to you.
Family members often will have their judgment influenced by worry, love and concern… for you and so their advice can be skewed. Only go to a family member if you are 110% certain that their judgment in the past has always been honest and impartial.
It is best to choose someone who is not emotionally involved with you.
Get advice from someone you respect and trust and who doesn’t have an influence over you.
Last but not least, pray your heart out.
I mean this in all seriousness. Never under-estimate the power of prayer.
For your prayer to be powerful, you need to have gone through all the steps above and be really clear on what it is you are praying about.
Pray anytime, but the best most powerful time is at night just before you go to sleep.
A good pray might go something like this;
Dear Lord, God, Source energy (whatever you are most comfortable calling the greatness around you)
Stay near me,
Hover over me Lord
Guide me during this difficult time
I am blessed with knowing that there is something I need to change in my life
Please help me to find a solution to this dilemma that is troubling me
Help me Lord to feel at peace and calm as I stay open to solutions
Bring to me angels who can help me to think clearly and calmly
Please give me guidance towards the best possible solution
For myself and the ones I love
And support me in being honest and faithful to myself
I hope that these steps will help you gain some clarity about your BIG decision.
If you go through all these steps and you still can’t move forward, you need to admit that you have likely already decided what you have to do. Yep! You already know what you have to do and so you need to focus not on making a decision (which is a great diversion) but figure out the best way to do what you know you have to do.
Staying stuck means you need to be honest with yourself. Be sure you are asking yourself the right questions and not trying to hide from a hard truth about your situation and yourself.
Ask yourself different questions to get to the bottom of something you could be avoiding.
Finally, once you make your decision, do it wholeheartedly and never look back!
If you have been truly honest with yourself then make your decision and act on it. It might feel uncomfortable but the best decisions will allow everyone involved to benefit.
Make your decision and act upon it, move forward and never look back.
If you make a decision that ends up not empowering you at all and it is clear it is causing great suffering to those around you, then don’t be afraid to reevaluate, reassess and even reconsider.
There are occasions when we may make a not so good decision, BUT you must be very sure you are reconsidering for purely authentic reasons and be sure you are not acting out of weakness or insecurity.
If you have done your homework you should not be in the position of having to reconsider… but hey it happens and sometimes we do simply get misguided, especially if we have tendency to OVER think ourselves to death!).
If you have a BIG decision to make in your life and you are struggling with it or getting stuck, please ask me a question in the comment section below. I’d love to hear from you!
Sharing your struggle with decision making might even help someone else who is also struggling. When you share your struggle, it is very healing to have others offer support and even guidance that could help you to look at things differently and propel you forward.