Are You an Outsider? – Darice Cairns. Feel the power!
Darice Cairns
The Art of Finding Truth, One Man's Journey Through Love, Life, Grief and Joy

Have you felt the stinging pain of rejection from your own family?

Have you struggled with being accepted by the very people you love?

Are you a loner, non-conformer, live on the outside of the mainstream, think outside the box, are alternative.

Let’s face it – you feel you don’t fit in.

Being on the outside is actually not a ‘bad’ thing, even though you may feel awkward about it, and here’s why…

Welcome Dear Outsiders

You probably don’t know exactly when you officially became an Outsider. It likely started very early in your life.

When we are toddlers our family is our entire world and so we accept their view as our own. This is why it can be so damaging when your family doesn’t accept you, it is the worst kind of rejection.

As we grow up we start to realize there are a lot of other situations we don’t ‘fit into’ either. The things you do fit into, are well… different…

But what if you stay close to your family and are constantly exposed to their judgements? What if you can’t get away from their critical views and beliefs about you? They are relentless in making their view of what you should or shouldn’t be – your problem (and not theirs). What if you grow up forever locked in that small crippling world of nonacceptance?

Well that is a living hell!

A young man stands with his back to us and wearing a burgundy t-shirt that says, outcast.
Power to the outsider! Photo by Taylor on Unsplash

So dear Outside you know what I am talking about, and until you embrace your uniqueness you will internalize what others think of you and will make you feel less than who you really are.

It feels so cruel, like a sentence without a cause… like discrimination without reason…

The people around you make it very clear in quietly and ever so subtly yet stinging ways that you… yes, YOU! are unacceptable just as you are!

(Well, f*#k that!)

And you somehow, deep down inside believe the lie because it all started such a long time ago… when you saw the world as a wonderful accepting place.

The Reality of Being an Outsider

There are two types of Outsiders. One is a chosen path the other isn’t. Maybe you never chose to be an Outsider. You were simply living your life the way you chose. There was no ‘issue’ until others made it clear to you that they didn’t approve of the way you are and lived.

The chosen Outsider are brave souls who knew early on that they are weird and different, and they run with it. They had a tribe that accepted their different attitudes and ways, and maybe they even celebrated them. Sadly, more often than not, this is not true for everyone.

An Outsider by Default

A young awkward man stands  with his arms crossed and wearing a Jurassic ball cap.
Be who you are. Photo by Taylor on Unsplash

When you an Outside by default, the people close to you don’t like your lifestyle choices so, they impose their beliefs on you. You then have two options, conform or rebel.

If you rebel, which you will do eventually, you are put in an unfortunate no-win situation where any deviation from what is expected of you is viewed as ‘wrong’.

Eventually, you realize that ‘their ‘opinion of you is so much smaller than who you really are.

So continue on your way and break away from the tribe. You won’t be leaving, You will simply be moving on.

There you go!

You’re on the outside of ‘their’ world.

And that will feel strangely rebellious because that is you stepping into your power. Be who you are, because being anything else will never feel good.

Breaking Away from Your Tribe

It feels a little weird when you finally move on your way, after cutting the ties with your tribe or family. Take off and run with that freedom now pulsing through your veins! To stay behind, being trapped in their ‘opinion’ of you is far worse than the shakiness you feel on new ground. Believe in yourself and trust that you have the whole universe behind you, supporting you and moving you forward.

Now beautiful soul you are on a whole new, exceedingly exciting path of living. Get ready to soar to new heights of personal success and even spiritualism.

The Beauty of Being an Outsider

People who live in groups – like families – can act and behave less than they should. People often love a common enemy. Someone else to gossip about, someone to make the other family members feel better about themselves by putting someone else down.

So dear Outsider, you know better than anyone how much it hurts. It hurts a lot. It breaks your bond with your family, breaks hearts, and those doing the judging just keep on judging.

The upside is once you embrace being an outcast, you now have complete control of how you are going to live your life. So embrace the beautiful you, the wild, woolly, crazy, rebel, nonconformist that you are perceived to be and live the life you were meant to live.

Let those that judge you wonder why you are not there with them. Never let them be able to judge you again in your presence and boldly be who you are, faults, warts, issues and all. Your problems are far less than theirs.

Young woman is lying in a bath tub wering  a white robe and eating noodles.
Weird and also wonderful! Photo by Taylor on Unsplash

A Brighter Path Awaits…

Never look back. Burn your trail, and be who you are. Bravely be who you know you are from your heart. Whatever it was that made you an Outsider, it is irrelevant… you don’t need to understand why. You don’t need to atone for what you supposedly did or didn’t do.

Forget their opinions of you, because unbeknownst to them, YOU are not the problem.

In fact, there is no problem. You are who you are, beautiful and FREE!

They pushed you to wake up… so quietly thank them for pushing you and teaching you what it means to really fly!

Please share your thoughts below. If you are an outsider I’d love to hear from you. Can you relate to this? And if you think someone you know would benefit from reading this blog, please share it.

Blessings to All Outsiders! You are certainly not alone lol



Woman lieing down with sunglasses and in blue tones.
You are not alone!

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